Generosity...or is it?

I was having a conversation with someone the other night about how there's no such thing as altruism. This led to a conversation about generosity and how while we claim someone is generous, there is always an alterior motive. If a man goes in to rescue a child in a fire, we would say he's a hero; but subconsciously, he is probably thinking how good it is going to make him look or how good he's going to feel saying he saved a life or..the list goes on. But my question is this: do subsconscious thoughts count as non-altruistic? If you're not consciously thinking them, aren't you doing something for an altruistic reason?

Something I really admire are generous people; people who give their time, resources, brainpower, hearts, lives..people who have helped me to be at the point I am today both professionally and personally. How can I say those people weren't generous? They know I can't offer them the same. Or the idea of Pay It Forward. Is that not generosity that is passed onto the next person? I suppose one could argue no since that person knows he/she should do something since someone did it for him/her. It wasn't happenstance generosity. But I've seen people give them wholeselves to something wholeheartedly. Obviously this demonstrates their passion for an issue/organization/person, but to say it's not generous..I can't do.

This is only a mere musing, hardly a post. And hopefully a spark for conversation!

Traveling, A Year and a Half Later

I just finished watching The Secret Life of Walter Mitty and as most travel movies do, I now want to travel. To see the beauty he hiked and experienced, especially when the weather here is subzero temperatures! I was reflecting on a post I wrote a year and a half ago: http://swzanussi.blogspot.com/2012/07/travelingdenotation-vs-connotation.html

And I thanked myself because I do not feel any differently, in fact I'm reaffirming what I said then. However I do have a new perspective. While I may not have seen as many exotic places recently, I've still grown in many new ways. I'm learning what life with an actual base involves, having regular friends, acquiring furniture and furnishing a place one calls home, and even a relationship. I don't crave wandering like I used to because my family, friends, and life are here now. I'm making a footprint in this community, one that I care about, where I was born. I've learned just as much in launching ComMUSICation and still felt blown away by the beauty of snow, the river, the sunsets here, up north, etc. You don't have to go far to appreciate the world.

But I do still want to conocer el mundo (get to know the world) and that does require more travel. I want to explore regions like southeast Asia I have never been and know little about aside from the stereotypical smiling people, spicy food, and elephant rides. Something in me needs to touch it, smell it, see it, hear it, taste it with my own senses, again reaffirming my sensual nature in the most literal sense of the word. Yet now I want to do it, knowing I am returning to this base, this community, my home. Knowing that my travels are temporary, enriching experiences, and at this stage in life, not my home.

So as I see Walter spotting ghost cats in Afghanistan, trekking the hills of Greenland, and meeting people, my spirit still lusts for those experiences, to adventure; though I'm not sure I can call it wanderlust anymore as it isn't the desire to wander. It's to conocer. To relate, to get to know others more, so I can learn more about others and myself. And that, my friends, cannot be learned from a book or travel documentary. That must be experienced for one's self, to reinvigorate, to spark curiosity, and grow one's self as a human. Unless I am going somewhere for work or to visit family, I am done traveling, etymologically speaking traversing. I am ready for a new type of exploring: to conocer, to understand.

Race and Culture: Open and Outward

I Apologize for the long hiatus. Who knew starting a program would allow no free time for blogging ;p There have been so many thoughts going through my mind since last writing I've been putting this off as I'm not sure where to begin. But then I saw this as a Facebook status: Where would I be without opportunity? And that my friend is the question I hope we don't have to answer with Sistema-inspired and other high-quality programs. Because that's what Sistema does: provides for ALL! Giving everyone an opportunity. I know without opportunity, I certainly wouldn't have become a musician or a traveler, both things integral to who I am now. It is usually only when we have people who encourage us, support us, love us, and challenge us to do things and provide the way to do so, that we can have opportunity. And that is why I claim we are an accessible program, not an equitable program, though that too.

I went to a workshop on Saturday called European American Heritage. It was fascinating. We constantly talk about diversity, but ever since we take a standardized test, it is ingrained that European American=white. But why? What other nationality is labeled by such a superficial characteristic-the color of one's skin? NONE, they are place-based. It is with the power of white, like a kudzu vine (Thank you Healing Roots for the analogy), that whites colonize, overtake, are the dominant culture with many times no accounting for others. If I label myself as a European American, it puts whites too in the place-based labeling, not deeming the power. Every time I have discussions of race and culture, it becomes more and more apparent how imperative (not just recommended) these discussions are to EVERY workplace. People of color notice who is in charge, makes decisions, etc. despite if we talk about it or not.

I'm reading a book called Why Are All The Black Children Sitting Together in the Cafeteria? and it talks about multiple instances where the white parent is embarrassed what her younger child said about blacks and responds by shushing them. The author talks about the importance of acknowledging younger kids' questions about race because younger kids notice physical characteristics and it's perfectly natural, not racist. The child's questions will not go away, just unanswered and learned to be unasked. If we can't have open, honest conversations about this, assumptions and dominant culture to take precedence.  It's important to explain to kids people come in different skin colors just like hair. I grew up in a family where colorblindness and egalitarianism were the basic values and I now realize that simply cannot be. We have to acknowledge that whites have been oppressors and the conditions that are White Privilege. Reading enough statistics anyone who says this is simply a class thing is flat out wrong.

As always I'd welcome comments.