My religion

http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/culture/jmacmillan/100066610/does-richard-holloway-and-other-leftist-class-warriors-realise-that-el-sistema-has-links-with-opus-dei/

Often enough I get the question, "Are you religious?" or "Are you Christian?" My response now is "I'm not conservative, if that's what you're asking," because usually consciously or subconsciously that is what they are inferring. I am a believer of God, that is what I am certain. And after a discussion tonight, I know why I am so deeply rooted to El Sistema.

The above article appeared in my Inbox shortly after that conversation and while the author seems to denigrate Abreu for this role, I condone it. The reason why El Sistema is my Purpose with a capital "P" is because of the spiritual aspect of it. Perhaps I am blasphemous for saying this, but is the purpose of El Sistema, social change, not that which Jesus called us to do? Jesus, the historic man, came to eradicate the empire system and meet people where they're at with the "last shall be first" mentality..Well? Is that not what we're doing with El Sistema? Giving opportunities to those who in other circumstances are "last"? Is El Sistema not the "good news." a gift that anyone can receive? Dare I take it as far as saying I am in a discipleship program that next year will go harmonize people in the songs of music?

But the difference with El Sistema that makes it more meaningful to me than "religion" is the fact that music is a thread of unity. Anyone can relate regardless of their background. Sure, there are different types of music and pedagogies, theories, etc. etc. but everyone has been exposed to music in some way in their lifetime. I challenge you to disprove this. If you do have someone in my mind, I venture to guess you are thinking of "music" in a box of the Western paradigm with specific qualifiers-the same way many people have codified Christians.

So yes, I strive to live a life full of unconditional love, grace, forgiveness, and joy, accepting everyone for who they are, and learning from them. Perhaps these are "Christian" qualities, but I hate that nomenclature because it excludes so many others and infers only Christians contain these. Rather, I am a global learner, learning from all walks of life, and hopefully leading a life that will bring about social change. What that means the community will have to decide. 

2 hrs->semester class, realizations galore

So I finally had the opportunity to meet Erik Holmgren the previous PD in a non-interview context and wowzers. He has SO much to say and information to give away. Within the first five minutes, I wrote down five books I should read and by Fri have to make my own personal mission statement. I learned SO much in that two hours. Everything from not asking the question of what El Sistema is, but rather framing it in terms of what the community needs are to learning etymologies of words (yes I'm a nerd). We need to redefine music as something that evokes social change and the power it has on community as it was originally used, and cease to make music a "thing," Art for the sake of art. This is not to say that  we can't create beauty/Art through this community, but instead of measuring ticket sales, we need to measure children.

This really resonated with me and brought me back to my senior paper. Music used in the community setting as the Mapuche do even if it is simplistic so people can participate rather than the theory, complexity, and satisfaction value music has in the Western world.

As far as the retreat yesterday, wowzers! Lots of realizations, some of which I'll admit I'm not quite ready to disclose to the whole world wide web, but I can share if someone asks me. But here is an excerpt from my journal yesterday:

"We had a session today that made us cry, examine, listen, dig, dig some more, create, laugh, and really get to know one another as real human beings. SOme excellent questions came to the surface and I want to articulate them here. I'll start on the happy, lighter side of things. What brings me joy?

I started with the trite (but true) response of cute, little animals, children laughing and exploring the world. Those are all true statements! Connecting with people, going on adventures, having meaningful conversations. But as I dug deeper and the same question was repeated to me, my ultimate joy was uncovered: the feeling I get when I play music with no preoccupations, doubts or boundaries. There are no limits, not even the grandiose horizon is in sight. Just merely the notes that create a space where any emotion can be unleashed and the true radiance and golden light that fills my whole inner being and is truly indescribable, try as I might.

The second question was what gives my life meaning and through many activities today the same idea reverberated: relationships. Of course of loved ones, but also of flighting ones. People who came in, perhaps lingered, and then walked right out of my life and the appreciation I have in sharing whatever that moment brought to light: a meaningful conversation or discussion, a memorable walk, a significant friendship despite the duration, a philosophical challenge or a new way to think about a jaded topic. The fact that I realized in my E Africa solo trip of music being a common thread that connects us together.

And somehow combining these relationships and this common thread to creation, Mother Earth, nature. From the purple-colored mountains in the Absaroka Beartooth Wilderness to the true aqua waters of Lake Colca and Torres del Paine; from the sunset in San Pedro de Atacama to the vast, savannas of Tanzania, from the silverback gorillas branch thrashing millimeters from my face to the moonlike quality of the Tongariro Crossing and the mere awe of the glowworm caves; from the fine sands of Nahat to the breadth of the aquatic world beneath us in Zanzibar; from the African mamas with a three meter sugar cane atop their heads and their brilliant, colorful dresses to the spicy salsa dancers and dancing on the roof till 5 AM; from the crowded daladalas and micro rides to the kitchen of a true Italian, these are only a snapshot of what I've experienced in my 24 years of age. But they are all of our beautiful world that surrounds each and every day and the palette of emotions.

We also talked about what limited us and I fall back on this societal norms, knowing I'm not normal idea and afraid to do something because of what someone else might think. I have made great progress, but I think I can go further. I need to embrace my eccentricities and LIVE it, not shy away from it and try to covertly abscond it. I am SO the OPPOSITE of apathetic, disinterested and unambitious-I need to let that shine!

I also came back to the idea of not only a purposeful life, but a balanced one. When I was asked the question what keeps me off-purpose, I stated it was okay for me to take a break becaues I am constantly going 1000+ mph and sometimes I need to breathe, albeit not nearly as long as the avg person but 1-2 hrs is a good thing. I"m so "on" sometimes, constantly philosophizing, reflecting and learning (and that's a gift not to let life just pass me by). But i need to remember the downtime is essential in this balanced life as is activity that is not necessarily purposeful."

I would love feedback, comments, and anything else that this made people think of, that they are struggling with or thinking about in their own lives. That's the only reason I posted a personal journal entry word-for-word here.

It's getting colder here! Autumn has arrived, but the days are GORG!

Signing off from my new home in JP where I have this new routine of being up before 7 AM,
Sara

The first classes

Maybe a better title will come to me, but I have officially had my first classes, one with Tony on our speeches and the role of a mediator and one with Albert Oppenheimer (fellow from last year) from the YOURS project in Chicago on community mapping and improv.

Tony was not afraid at all to tell it how it is but incredibly useful feedback. We learned about the difference between credible and approachable voice. I have a very approachable voice and I need to learn on making it more credible. This will help my classroom management too. However, I didn't get too high in the decibel levels and I was more poised than I thought. I need to work on not using my hands as much (blame the Italian in me) and I need to stand more center and address the whole room. I enjoyed telling my story though and was very impressed with almost everyone's public speaking skills. No one was stage fright-I guess that's the pro of being musicians. It will be so rewarding to see how much we all improve. It also made me realize the experiences I am going to undergo with these nine fellows...we are going to experience a PLETHORA of experiences together!! Being critiqued in front of each other is only the beginning.

Community mapping is a very useful skill and I received some great sample emails on how to introduce myself to the community and be approachable. Though the time consumption issue is definitely a dilemma. Hopefully the next board meeting ACME members can go into the community and find out some new orgs for us to know about.

But the improv...that was powerful. We started just by playing one note and talking about the basic elements of music: sound and silence. Then we gradually added more complex concepts like dynamics, repetition, etc. Diogo tried to conduct us, but it was too composed in the literal sense. So I suggested we do what I did at Stillwater: close our eyes. And when we did that it was beautiful and truly a piece of music improvised and from the heart. Our barriers were let down and people weren't afraid to use their voices, both of their own and of their instrument. That performing experience is the first of many to come and it is so wonderful to again encounter the feeling of ensemble. All I wanted to do after that was play with everyone. It's instances like these that make me enjoy performing, not the solo stuff. From Monique's fluttering flute, to Andrea's vibrato cello, to Carlos' muted trumpet (never mind with Rachel's sweater), to Diogo's sus9 chords, it was a really special mixture.

Then it was time for Uno's (one I'm sure of many) where we celebrated Elaine's bd (never mind the cake that melted everywhere but was delicious if I do say so myself (my first vegan cake!)) and stayed there for 4 hours! I hope this camaraderie doesn't get jaded because right now everyone is so inclusive and on top of their game collectively. We even met on the holy day of Sun. to discuss our interview questions.

Highlight of the weekend: Seeing Train and Gavin DeGraw FREE and some great people watching while doing so.
Lowlight: Being locked out of the house for four hours because the door got locked so the cat would stay inside and I was eating breakfast outside after an exhausting zumba class..meaning I got stuck in my sweaty, aerobic clothes all afternoon. But the upstairs roommate is nice and gave me water and let me hang out with her.

Well I'm on this new schedule where I go to bed "early" (and wake up early no matter what time I go to bed) so I best be off.

Here's to another week!! My next posting I should know my residency plans (they're in the making right now but San Diego, Virginia Beach, and Larkspur (CA) look to be so far..)